Monday, 30 April 2012

Another UB

Not U B. but UB. Said together like stub but without the st.

That is what I have chosen to call it.

Today when arriving home from work I like the dutiful housewife hung up the dry cleaning, put the shopping away, and started on dinner.

Then once dinner was safe to leave simmering away I retreated to the boudoir to put on my oh so fetching navy blue trackydacks (tracksuit bottoms). Hot, I know.

As I put my oh so comfy fleecy lined trackydacks on I had an incoming call from the sister in law. So Elaine and I sat chatting on my couch whinging about Lime and how he'd broken my Internet. (and putting the world to right obviously).

It was while sitting I noticed an ever increasing itchiness... And on inspection I found what I feared. An Unidentified Bite (UB) on the side of my knee.

I very quickly removed my trackydacks. And left them in a pile on the floor for Limes investigatory skills later on. I've heard the stories...

Of course, I'll cut to the chase now. Lime found nothing in those trackys. His hypochondriac paranoid arachnophobic girlfriend has imagined another bite....

Even with a raised lump similar to a bad mossie bite he turns to me and says "are you sure you didn't just catch it on something or scratch yourself". Yes. That is it. Thank god for Lime. Here I was thinking I knew what a bite insect or otherwise looked like and obviously I was completely wrong and have been since I was a child. Silly me.

Now I'm not saying it was a spider. It could have been a mozzie escaping the cold outside. But I haven't seen or heard him. And if you've visited our house you'll agree there's not many places to hide. Magnolia walls throughout. No substantial wall art. Etc etc.

But there is certainly no evidence of a spider either. As I would imagine it would be harder for a spider to escape my trackys than a mozzie. Unfortunately the spiders that tend to bite don't all have webs. So not easily traceable either.

So here I am. Wide awake thanks to a rather uncomfortable itchy bite on my left side knee. While Lime snores away.
Can't even take a photo for you as its fricking dark.

Beware of those UB's people. You never know when they're really scratches and you're just a paranoid arachnophobic watching tv wrapped in a blanky while your trackys are left in a pile on the front room floor 'just in case'.

Sent from my iPhone

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